Omnivorous Cannibal Mommies!

So.... it's not dinner... it's not a movie... but it IS entertainment...

My latest obsession is my aquarium. It's the first time I've had aquatic creatures last for more than six weeks. (And just think, somewhere out there are parents that entrusted their children to me for an hour daily to teach them history.) Fortunately, I have my fab hubby helping to keep the little critters alive -- four plants (water wisteria, java fern, anubis, and anacheris), three guppies, two amano shrimp, and two African dwarf frogs. We don't have cable, so it's the closest thing to the Discovery Channel that we have.

Especially today.

My guppy (the fattest one) gave birth! I even saw her pop out two of the little guys. Little balls of fish just rolled out and then started swimming (I hope...I'm not sure I saw those particular ones again. Turns out one baby guppy looks like another.)

If you've ever had guppies (especially a guppy and aquatic frog combination), then this is no surprise to you. They give birth, like, once a month given the opportunity, supposedly with anywhere from 4 to 200 (still not sure if that was a typo when I saw that) at a time. My two female guppies have been pregnant since they left the fish store, so we've been waiting anxiously for the day when there are a bunch of little baby guppies swimming around in the tank before they get picked off by the frogs ... Or their mommies....

A few weeks ago, we saw one baby. A week later, a second had joined it, much smaller than the first, appearing to be newborn at that time. We waited anxiously for more to make their appearance. But that was it. We never saw another one (though we showed way too much excitement over fish pooing at times), and I came to the following conclusion:

My guppies are ninja-birthers.

And it doesn't hurt that guppies are unnatural parents. They will eat their babies. Some internet sources claim that this only happens if they're not well-fed. My guppies are the biggest gluttons in the world. Every day is a beautiful Thanksgiving Day in their neighborhood. And considering how I've seen the adult guppies stalk the babies (that we've seen) until the babies break line of sight -- usually by swimming behind a leaf of one of the plants in the tank -- the idea that these guys wouldn't eat the little guys if they weren't fast enough is ludicrous.

Yes, I just used the word ludicrous to refer to a fish.

In any case, it's been like the Discovery Channel in that corner of my house. I can't help but root for the little guys as they dart away from their PARENTS and the much-dumber aquatic frogs and hide amongst the gravel, even though ... they're kind of there... to help keep the frogs well-fed....

'Cause let me tell you something about African dwarf frogs: they are dumber than the rocks they bump their heads on. And the guppies would eat their blood worms in a heartbeat, except for the fact that my fab hubby uses a turkey baster to make sure that the little darlings get the food dropped right in front of them... on top of them... into their mouths ... and the fish still steal the bloodworms. They're almost as crafty as the amano shrimp who like to gank the frog pellets as soon as they hit the bottom of the tank, and then hide from the frogs (usually on the other side of the leaf that the frog is sitting under) and merrily chow down on it. Needless to say, African dwarf frogs can be a challenge to keep fed.... but the guppy fry actually do provide one more food sources for the cute little dummies.

And so the drama of the Discovery Channel resides in my house: it's a guppy-eat-guppy world in there. And I can't help but cheer for the little guys. If one of them ever gets big enough not to get eaten, I'll even give it a name: Brave Sir Robin, maybe, or Dodger, or Tad, something completely different.

So maybe it IS dinner... just not for me... It gives new meaning to: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out, make another one just like you!"

Guppies will really DO that.